What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


By Elton Beard

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't. I don't.


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ARCHIVE ARCHIVE ARCHIVE

Thursday, March 27, 2003
9:00 PM PT

CNN's fair, balanced and very, very thoughtful Aaron Brown interviewed famed peace activist Daniel Ellsberg today, employing his trademark fair, balanced, and highly thoughtful style.

Here is a snippet of that interview.

BROWN: Mr. Ellsberg, it's good to see you again sir.

The Iraqi political strategy is in large part to use the anti-war demonstrations around the world to create political pressure on the coalition governments to stand down, cease fire and stop the war. In that regard, are you playing into the hands of what I think you would even acknowledge is a very bad regime.

ELLSBERG: Certainly a very bad regime. Whose judgment were you just describing, that that's Saddam's strategy? I don't know what his strategy is, do you?

BROWN: Do you, do you dispute that this is a reasonable interpretation of what Iraqi political strategy is?

ELLSBERG: I really don't know...

Did I mention that Aaron Brown is very, very thoughtful? Fair and balanced, too.

CNN has not posted the official transcript yet, but here's an unofficial transcript of the complete interview.

[Update: Cowboy Kahlil focuses on the interviewee.]

Tuesday, March 25, 2003
12:00 PM PT

Shorter Richard Cohen:
Safe Driving In Baghdad

  • I hope the whole world appreciates how this time around, we're not killing nearly as many civilians as we did in earlier wars.

  • We would kill even fewer Iraqis if Saddam Hussein and his loathsome family had not been so rude as to survive our long-range assassination attempt.

  • I hope the world realizes that our government is uniquely wonderful for allowing journalists to report on the invasion without censorship.

  • The residents of Baghdad are driving about town, proving that they trust America more than their own government (obviously, I haven't read this article in my own paper today).

Monday, March 24, 2003
4:00 AM PT

Operation Iraqi Freedom. Why is it called that, anyway? The rather obvious alternative, Operation Free Iraq, is more direct and also has the benefit of rolling easier off the tongue. After all, we are liberating the country of Iraq, not just the people of Iraq, right?

In any case, this liberation business brings to mind a passage from Joseph Heller's Catch-22, the timeless war satire set in WWII. The Americans have recently captured Italy and a young American G.I. named Nately is visiting a whorehouse in liberated Palermo, Sicily, where he gets into a conversation with the ancient proprietor.

The old man describes the proper way to greet liberators, of any stripe.

"... I was a fascist when Mussolini was on top, and I an an anti-fascist now that he has been deposed. I was fanatically pro-German when the Germans were here to protect us against the Americans, and now that the Americans are here to protect us against the Germans I am fanatically pro-American. I can assure you, my outraged young friend" - the old man's knowing, disdainful eyes shown even more effervescently as Nately's stuttering dismay increased - "that you and your country will have no more loyal partisan in Italy than me - but only as long as you remain in Italy."

"But," Nately cried out in disbelief, "you're a turncoat! A time-server! A shameful, unscrupulous opportunist!"

"I am a hundred and seven years old," the old man reminded him suavely.

[...]

"... When the Germans marched into the city, I danced in the streets like a youthful ballerina and shouted 'Heil Hitler' until my lungs were hoarse. I even waved a small Nazi flag that I had snatched away from a beautiful little girl while her mother was looking the other way. When the Germans left the city, I rushed out to welcome the Americans with a bottle of excellent brandy and a basket of flowers. The brandy was for myself, of course, and the flowers were to sprinkle upon our liberators. There was a very stiff and stuffy old major riding in the first car, and I hit him squarely in the eye with a red rose. A marvelous shot! You should have seen him wince."

(A slightly longer excerpt from the same chapter is posted here. The book is highly recommended, and the movie is great too, although it can't possibly do full justice to the novel.)

[Update: Shortened the excerpt a bit, for readability.]

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Busy, busy, busy.

What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


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