What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


By Elton Beard

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't. I don't.


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Thursday, June 15, 2006
6:15 PM PT

Women have rights?  I don't get it.

Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
Abortion rhymes with death
  • All this killing that's been going on lately veritably cries out for an immediate drawdown of women's autonomy.
See Also: World O'Crap.

2:30 PM PT

Killer Justice.

There he goes again. Mr. Bush, yesterday, in The Rose Garden, repeated his reference to extrajudicial killing as justice:

I had a chance to congratulate those that were responsible for bringing Zarqawi to justice.
And:
But the terrorists are vulnerable, and we will strike their network and disrupt their operations and continue to bring their leaders to justice.
How to explain this odd locution?

Well, ever since Mr. Bush had first held the official power of life and death over others as governor of Texas it's been obvious that he gets off on killing people. You don't sign a death warrant every other week year in and year out until you've authorized the conversion Mayhem, in the morning, makes me smile. of over one hundred and fifty living human beings into smoldering corpses if you don't very much like to kill people. Mr. Bush did just that, with relish. He really likes to kill people. In the name of justice, of course.

Yet Governor Bush was sorely constrained in Texas, where he could only kill people delivered him after passing through something resembling a justice system, with all the official trappings like judges and juries and court trials and stuff like that - even functional defense attorneys, sometimes. Now, however, having seized the presidency and remodeled it into something more like a monarchy, things have changed. These days he gets to personally sentence lots and lots of people to death, one by one and wholesale, by various horrible means. All in the name of security, of course.

And Mr. Bush has repeatedly promised to keep on killing people in the name of security as long as he's in office. He looks really happy when he tells us this, too. Since he started a war, it seems the rules say he gets to do just that.

But why, then, does Mr. Bush insist on labeling such killings justice when he can just say c'est la guerre? Isn't that likely to confuse, in the minds of the people, a president's authority to arbitrarily order people in other countries killed in the course of a war with the authority to mete out justice domestically - up to and including the death penalty - which is normally vested in the courts?

Exactly. That's not a bug. That is the whole point of this exercise.

It's good to be king.

*                *                *                *                *                *

Plus: Logic Check. A familiar strawman was spotted in The Rose Garden yesterday, propping up Mr. Bush's umpteenth attempt to conflate the 9/11 perpetrators with his unprovoked war against Iraq:
But I also understand the stakes of this war, see. I understand how important it is to defeat the enemy. Now, I recognize some in the country don't feel that same sense of urgency I do. But al Qaeda is real; their philosophy is a real philosophy; they have ambitions.
Yes. And I understand that some in the White House try hard to confound us with two-bit rhetorical tricks. But I recognize it's only because they don't share my sense that honesty is preferable to deception.

C'est la vie.

Monday, June 12, 2006
9:30 PM PT

You Don't Want to Get On His List.

It's all reel! Mr. Bush today attempted (and not for the first time) to redefine a common English term to suit his purposes:

Q: Mr. President, what do you think of the successor to Zarqawi that was named by al Qaeda? ...

THE PRESIDENT: I think the successor to Zarqawi is going to be on our list to bring to justice.

Now, it's one thing to relinquish without fight a fragment of language like "begging the question" which is at least arguably only of interest to logicians. But if "to bring to justice" comes to be commonly understood as "to kill on my command" rather than as "to try before a duly constituted court" then it seems something crucial will have been lost.

*                *                *                *                *                *

Speaking of killers - readers of Vonnegut will no doubt also appreciate Mr. Bush's fine impersonation of Paul Lazzaro from Schlachthof Funf:
LAZZARO: You're on my list, pal.
Paul Lazzaro lovingly maintained a list of people he disfavored and consequently planned to kill. He was, of course, quite insane.

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Busy, busy, busy.

What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


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